When will I learn?

Hey all Tyler here for a change,

You would think after almost six years of marriage that I would have figured out a few things. Don't get me wrong, I have learned one or two things. Seriously though, after this long we are both skilled laborers in the Button Pushers Union (Chapter 51802). But I'm not talking about anything malicious or mean- - just simple day to day stuff here.

Like I know that if Klondike bars are on sale at the grocery store I had better buy a box, or if I drink out of the jug she will too. I know that calling her anal, neurotic, obsessive, fanatical, or just plain crazy only works for a day after which she begins taking them as compliments for how organized and well prepared she is. I know that birthdays are a BIG deal and that the month of March (not just the 31st) is an official Johnson family holiday. I know that certain commercials will make her cry and that I had better not watch The Daily Show or Rob & Big without her. I know that movie previews and small electric shocks make her jump and that she can't parallel park when I am watching. I know that a recipe is like a commandment (etched in stone) and that there is no such thing as too many baby clothes. I know that even though she converted to Angel fandom (a tough order for a girl from a family of rabid Mariner fans) she will never, ever, ever forgive Alex Rodriguez for breaking her heart and becoming a Yankee. (hey as much as I disagree you gotta love it that she's that passionate about baseball....thanks Greg) I know that she doesn't listen when I ask her to take fewer baby pictures, or at least delete the blurry ones, and that she could talk to Jenny on the phone while literally performing any task imaginable. I know that if there's chowder on the menu she'll have some and that odd numbers of socks make her feel like a failure. I know that cuddles and massages make her melt , and am glad that we now have a son who can do one of those things and take some pressure off of dad. I know that for some strange reason she likes to give talks in church but can't stand the taste of chocolate. I know that she can't get most places without detailed driving directions (that we go over 2-3 times) but she can remember the birthdays of nearly every member of my extended family.

I could go on...and I might another day. But let me get to the point here. So why haven't I learned that I can't give her constructive criticism without her taking it to extremes? Just slow I guess. So the other day when I mentioned that this blog was getting a little weak in the content department and that I think it would be better to do few blogs with a little more thought put into them than many blogs bragging again about how nice the weather is here. I really should have known that what I would get is a long and preachy research paper on a touchy subject. (Sorry I had to pull a Stalin on her and censure it this morning. If you want to see her blog about Vaccinations and her view maybe she'll pull a Dick Chenney and leak it to you without my knowledge. At least then I could quit my job as a CIA operative.)

So here I am back in the mix of blog writing. I hope she doesn't get too mad at me for pulling the plug on her manifesto, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Told you I haven't learned a thing.


ps- I love you honey. Happy March! In two months it will be six years and I don't know what I did without you before then.